Day One

Well, I survived my first day. Granted, I didn’t leave the house – was working my way through a book and a bunch of chores – but I personally think that made it harder as I tend to snack when I’m at home doing stuff, and I couldn’t today. I actually realised just how much I fixate on food when I have nothing else serious to occupy my mind, mostly because instead of a passing “hmm, I’d quite like some popcorn now” and then the move to get it there was a whole internal monologue of fancying something and denying myself, then massively craving something and still denying myself. I did think about food a lot today, but more out of habit than serious hunger. As per the real sprit of the thing, I tried to instead think about people who were hungry today because they had no choice; it helped, a bit, but I did begin to feel like Bono.

The weirdest thing for me was getting up at 4am to eat. I usually skip breakfast as a routine, especially when I’ve been actively woken up by an alarm rather than naturally, so to get up so early just to eat was quite a shock to my system to say the least. I didn’t really fancy anything, and even contemplated just rolling over and going back to sleep, but I knew I’d be hungry later and that if I was going to do this thing, it was worth doing right. So I dragged myself out of bed for a cup of tea (decaf), four brazil nuts, some strawberries and a very small bowl of Special K. I chose healthy stuff on purpose – I do have a history of eating nothing but crap for a few days and then passing out, so I’m trying to do my body right before I starve it.

My Muslim friend texted me at half four to remind me my eating time was almost up, and I duly finished my mug and crawled back into bed. I tried to spend some time on good and pure thoughts as the sun rose, but I have to admit I was asleep before I had the chance. I think I dozed off contemplating heading down to the seafront one day this week to actually watch the sunrise – something my friends and I have been saying we wanted to do for some time now. Don’t know if I’ll ever actually do it, but it’s a noble thought...

Once I genuinely woke up for the day at half 10, I instantly wanted a cup of proper tea and some chocolate – this is probably embarrassingly indicative of my usual habits. I poured myself a glass of water instead, which did nothing to get rid of my cravings. All day, I would have killed for just a small square of chocolate. A Galaxy was the first thing I broke into when darkness rolled around (but the fact that I lasted that long is indicative of my self control, right?) I kept a water glass full of ice and kept drinking whenever I felt a craving coming on – I’m going to try and wean myself off this, as it is technically against the rules and seems against the spirit of things as well.

Aside from the chocolate mania and the odd craving, I was mostly okay until about half 5 at night, by which point my breakfast was long forgotten and my tummy was turning its thoughts to dinner. By half 7, when I would usually be finishing my evening meal, I was in agony, and began my food prep, figuring that chopping up a few veg couldn’t count as cheating. At 8:00 on the dot, I sat down to the best steak, potatoes, carrots and green beans dinner I’ve ever had! Dessert was a Bournville – I know, I know, it’s a miracle I don’t weigh 1000 pounds – and an apple, and my evening snack was a bowl of popcorn and a small hunk of cheese. It’s now 1am, so I’m off to bed for three hours before I confuse my system even more by waking it up for food once again! Tomorrow I’ll be out and about and at work, so we’ll see if this makes the situation better or worse. Stay tuned guys!