A Pedant's Rant

Once again, no time to blog, so here's a backdated article from Pugwash News Issue 17 (Oct 08) to keep you entertained. But I'd be remiss in my duty if I didn't put a plug out for the new website which I also write for: http://unbored.co.uk/ - managed by the inimitable Jack Clarkson who graduated last year! Check it out guys, and hopefully I'll resume normal programming soon!

As Copy Editor for UPSU student media, my job is to “red pen” – yes, it’s a verb - our website and magazine, as well as this fine publication. I have the task of translating Pugwash into English, finding every bit of missing or superfluous punctuation, and trying to make sure that not only is everything spelled correctly, but that it makes sense too. Before you brand me a complete nerd, let me explain that this is actually a legitimate job and that we’re everywhere in the world of publishing.

(Let me also iterate that I am very far from perfect, so please don’t email me nitpick-ly pointing out the few mistakes I’m sure I let slip. I’m only human, and you should see the text before I get my hands on it!)

Now, most people have a basic grasp of the English language, but stumble on all the different rules and refinements of it. After all, it is recognisably the most difficult and confusing language in the world. However, in this day and age, especially at University level, it is unacceptable (to my mind anyways) to not possess the ability to at least form coherent sentences.

I aim to use this space in Pugwash News to educate you about the proper use and eccentricities of the English language.

So, having explained myself, and probably having put half of you off before you’ve even got to the point of this article, let me introduce this week’s pet peeve: the misuse of the word “literally”.

This is a word that you never really think about using, yet seems to come up an awful lot in everyday conversation and is often seen gracing the public media. However, like the word “bastard”, its original meaning seems to have become skewed - either that or people just like using words that sound fancy without having any real idea what they are really saying.

To clarify, the word “literally” is defined as “using or interpreting words in their most basic sense”. Medusa in the old legends literally turned people to stone. It’s not a simile or a metaphor; she looked at them and they actually physically changed to stone.

So, if you are “literally dying with laughter” or if it is “literally a case of sink or swim”, you should be in the process of killing yourself with hilarity or standing in the middle of a large pond. You can be figuratively dying of laugher or find yourself in a scenario where you will either succeed or fail, but to be literally doing either would be a feat in itself.

So, the next time you tell someone your head is "literally about to explode", stop and think what you’re saying.

It may seem like I'm being a bit anal about all of this, but the point of language is being able to express yourself clearly and eloquently. English is the most beautiful and expressive language in the universe, and I hate to see it being used and abused and misunderstood. (And, like Frasier Crane, I don’t do this to be popular...)